


The Survey

by trailerparktrixie



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 00:31:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7735999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trailerparktrixie/pseuds/trailerparktrixie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the last row Kelley had approached her with a survey.  Now Hope is sitting at the breakfast table fuming.  Kelley has insisted that she fill out this survey.  Said it would lead to greater insights about each other.  “When did a canned survey ever do that?” Hope grumbles as she takes up her pen and begins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Survey

It’s been a year since they had both finally thrown in the towel and decided there was an us that could not be denied. Kelley has just moved into Hope’s house. Kelley had been reticent about moving into a house that was so totally Hope, but they agreed to try this for a year. To Hope it felt like Kelley had given them an expiry date of sorts. Hope knew that in the back of her mind she could not fathom moving from this house and she suspected Kelley knew this. Still, she came.

With all of her boxes and what-nots. Hope tried to be gracious. She really did. She knew that Kelley needed to put her mark here to feel at home. They have had skirmishes here and there. “Too much gray,” Kelley had pronounced. Painting had ensued. Now Hope cringed at the bright colors that cheerily greeted her in the bathroom each morning when she was least able to take it.

After the last row Kelley had approached her with a survey. Now Hope is sitting at the breakfast table fuming. Kelley has insisted that she fill out this survey. Said it would lead to greater insights about each other. “When did a canned survey ever do that?” Hope grumbles as she takes up her pen and begins.

DO YOU SNORE?  
No. I growl. (So you say!)

LOVER OR A FIGHTER?  
Warrior of love. (That should get me extra points).

WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?  
That dream where I wake up and all these years Ashlyn has been #1 and I’m #2.

AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO BUILDER?  
I don’t play. I did have a Mr. Potato Head I was fond of.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY TV"?  
Kinda living one here.  


DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?  
I do not believe in straws on principle. (too phallic).

WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?  
A smoldering bundle of smirk.

HOW IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?  
Is this a trick question?

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?  
WTF

DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?  
No, but I hum like no one can.

HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?  
Every time I take the pitch.

ANY SECRET TALENTS?  
I can stop a charging forward with just my glare.

WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?  
It ain’t Disney.

HAVE YOU EATEN SUSHI?  
Is this that crummy lesbian joke?

DO YOU GIVE A DARN ABOUT THE OZONE?  
What team does she play on?

HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?  
Not sure as I always bite it after about 10 minutes. How do you think I got these jaws?

CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?  
I already said I do not sing.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?  
So often that what I spent on tickets I could have bought my own plane.

ARE SPEEDO'S HOT?  
Who is wearing it? Is it Katie Ledecky?

WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?  
More into fishing. Yeah, that worm prank never gets old.

IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?  
Yes. (Ha, another trick question).

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?  
Is that supposed to say, do you like hand holding?

WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?  
This survey.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"  
(Immediately screams I love you) 2 seconds ago.

DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?  
No, I take bets on when the divorce will occur. I am up $250.

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?  
Fresh. That is why I raise chickens.

ARE BLONDES DUMB?  
You know that I am actually blonde – trick question.

WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?  
Duh, you made it into a puppet.

WHAT TIME IS IT?  
It is 8:00 a.m. and I already wish I were dead.

DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?  
Which one? I prefer Queen of the dark Side. Most recent – Zika!

DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?  
Environmentally sound Showers -AKA save water, shower with a friend.

IS SANTA CLAUSE REAL?  
Yes. Last year I showed him a picture of you and told him that’s what I wanted.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?  
Gonna cite that whole Queen of the Dark Side here.

WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?  
My BAE of course (more points for me).

CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?  
Which ever one you want to slather all over you.

DESCRIBE OUR RELATIONSHIP?  
Pineyist piner’s that ever pined.

TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?  
Once. It’s only 8:00 a.m.

IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?  
Nope. Caffeine all the way baby.

FAVORITE FORM OF TORTURE?  
Tickling. That’s really why I have those chickens. Fresh feathers any time I need them.

HAVE YOU EVER HITCH HIKED?  
Remember that roll playing thing we did?

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?  
Laser Blue.

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?  
When I started this survey.

HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?  
Is this a hint at another roll playing thing involving farm fields?

DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?  
Yes. I can pluck you like a banjo.

CAN YOU SKATEBOARD?  
Other than that time you left yours in the middle of the living room and I stepped on it, no.

DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?  
What’s not to like? There’s fire.

DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?  
My snort is my laugh.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?  
Yes. You cast a spell on me -I think it was more of a voodoo thing.

YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?  
Absolutely not -unless I am taking bets.

CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?  
No, that wasn’t part of Dancing With The Stars. Maks refused.

DOES YOUR MOM KNOW YOU HAVE A MYSPACE?  
My space? My house? Yes, My Mom has been here.

DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?  
Very few people. I could count them on one hand.

DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?  
Never heard of it.

FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?  
The pounding of my heart whenever you’re around. (I am killing this).

WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETIRE TOO?  
Florida. Violent croc watching sounds fun.

CHOOSE, ATTACKED BY A BEAR OR SWARM OF BEES?  
Bees. Supposedly Tobin can fight 2,000 of them and I am sure she will help me out.

DO YOU OWN GUNS?  
Only the one you are currently holding to my head.

TWO YR. OLD HANDS YOU A TOY PHONE. DO YOU ANSWER IT?  
No, It is probably a telemarketer wanting me to take another survey.


	2. Was It Graded On A Curve?

Hope threw her pen down. This was just too much. How much was riding on this? How was Kelley going to “grade” this thing? Half of the questions seemed like Kelley was making fun of her. Hope needed to get out of there before Kelley finished her shower. She pulled on her socks and running shoes while penning Kelley a little note and fled out the door. She would run the 8 miles to practice today to clear her head.

Kelley emerges from her shower and walks into the kitchen. No Hope. This was new. She finds the note Hope left her saying she was going to run to practice. It’s on top of the survey. Kelley begins to read.

It 8:45 and time for Kelley to leave for practice. As she nears the practice field she passes Hope and gives her a little honk and a wave out the window. Hope is not sure how to take that. Kelley could have stopped and offered her a ride the rest of the way. Or, she could have tried to run me over. Hope found the honking and waving very noncommittal on Kelley’s part.

Hope finally enters the locker room. Everyone else has already taken the field. She needs to change into her cleats before taking the field. She approaches her locker and notices something taped to it. With dread she pulls it off and unfolds the paper.

It’s is the survey. And, it looks like the results are in. No mistaking it. Kelley has taken a red sharpie marker to the survey. Kelley has written a very large A++ on it. 

Hope changes her shoes and trots out to the pitch. Her steps feeling lighter. She spies Kelley half way down the field doing agility drills. Kelley sees her and smiles with a little wave of her hand. Hope smiles and waves back as she trots to the other end for Keeper drills.

“Yep,” Hope mutters to herself. “A one year trial. Piece of cake.”

 

Authors Note  
If you will notice, Hope repeatedly takes pot shots at having to fill out that survey. Why does she do it you should be asking yourself? The answer is simple really. Hope had never met A GIRL LIKE YOU BEFORE.

Link to a performance of the song and lyrics below. It’s a swinging little song.  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYFz4pKclyA

A Girl Like You Before by Edwyn Collins

I've never known a girl like you before  
Now just like in a song from days of yore  
Here you come a-knockin', knockin' on my door  
And I've never met a girl like you before  
You give me just a taste, so I want more  
Now my hands are bleeding and my knees are raw  
'Cause now you've got me  
Crawlin' crawlin' on the floor  
And I've never known a girl like you before  
You've made me acknowledge the devil in me  
I hope to God I'm talkin' metaphorically  
I hope that I'm talkin' allegorically  
Know that I'm talkin' about the way I feel  
And I've never known a girl like you before  
Never, never, never, never  
Never known a girl like you before  
This old town's changed so much  
Don't feel that I belong  
Too many protest singers, not enough protest songs  
And now you've come along, yes, you've come along  
And I never met a girl like you before  
Yeah, it's all right  
Yeah, it's all right

**Author's Note:**

> Next up - the results.


End file.
